


love, he thinks

by ich_bin_ein_stern



Series: The AtsuHina Files [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Flavorful Atsumu Behavior, M/M, Pinning Hinata Shouyou, Semi Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22948996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ich_bin_ein_stern/pseuds/ich_bin_ein_stern
Summary: I love you, Shouyou thinks.They won their game and will be advancing to the semifinals and before they can walk out of the gym, a small boy races up to Atsumu and declares himself the setter's biggest fan. A flustered mother shows up soon after and apologizes profusely for her son's loud declaration but Atsumu takes it in stride. While the rest of their teammates head for the locker room, Atsumu stays behind to sit with the boy, get to know him, and offer genuine advice and encouragement. "I want to see you on the court when you're my age," he tells the boy, "so keep pushing forward."
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Series: The AtsuHina Files [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953907
Comments: 18
Kudos: 250





	love, he thinks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kitcassiachan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitcassiachan/gifts).



_I love you_ , Shouyou thinks. 

Atsumu is laughing in his brother's steadily reddening face while a victory smirk graces Suna's face. A full minute passes before Suna takes pity on his fiance and wraps an arm around his waist as he makes a 'shooing' motion at Atsumu. Shouyou watches Atsumu watch as Suna speaks softly with Osamu, hands gentle and comforting. Atsumu looks genuinely happy for his brother. His smile is less sad now, where his brother is concerned, and more content. And so very beautiful.

_I love you_ , Shouyou thinks.

Even though he is exhausted from returning home after visiting his parents for the weekend and it's nearing midnight, Atsumu stands in the small kitchen of their dorm with an apron around his waist while he shows Bokuto step-by-step on how to make homemade chocolate for Akaashi. Although he complains about Bokuto eating the ingredients from time to time, he still shakes his head and rolls his eyes. Even Sakusa seems mildly impressed when he appears in the kitchen entryway due to the commotion they are all making. 

_I love you_ , Shouyou thinks.

They won their game and will be advancing to the semifinals and before they can walk out of the gym, a small boy races up to Atsumu and declares himself the setter's biggest fan. A flustered mother shows up soon after and apologizes profusely for her son's loud declaration but Atsumu takes it in stride. While the rest of their teammates head for the locker room, Atsumu stays behind to sit with the boy, get to know him, and offer genuine advice and encouragement. "I want to see you on the court when you're my age," he tells the boy, "so keep pushing forward."

_I love you_ , Shouyou thinks.

Atsumu is mad and justifiably so. Burnouts are nasty, vile things but avoidable. Conditioning is monitored, practice even more so. Captain Meian is strict about individual practice to avoid burnouts. Shouyou thought he had moved beyond them, thought he had finally grasped the limitations of his body, thought he would never repeat that crushing, sick moment he experienced as a first year at Nationals.

He was wrong. 

Unlike other instances of outward anger, Atsumu is scarily silent. Shouyou is being checked out by a paramedic while sitting inside an ambulance and Atsumu is standing off at the side, but within view, with the rest of their teammates. He stares blankly at Shouyou, barely blinking, and Shouyou stares at his pale, trembling hands - he can't focus on the words between the paramedic and their captain. His head hurts and he's tired. 

It takes an hour before it is deemed unnecessary to take him to the hospital and now he is under strict orders to sit out practice for the rest of the week and increase his fluid intake. Shouyou can only focus on the way Atsumu balls his fists when he is allowed out of the ambulance. His hands, beautiful and openly admired, are out of sight the moment Shouyou approaches him, shoved into his jacket. He steps away when Shouyou gets too close.

_I love you_ , Shouyou thinks.

His heart is secretly breaking before everyone. Captain Meian orders Atsumu to take him back to the dorm - the rest of the team will do drills before heading back themselves. It's getting late.

_I love you_ , Shouyou thinks.

His heart hurts so much. Atsumu is resolutely not looking at him as they walk back. He stares ahead and walks three paces slower than normal so Shouyou can keep up with the poor condition of his body. 

_I love you,_ Shouyou thinks.

Still not speaking, Atsumu points to the couch near the large living room window when they get back. Shouyou sits down and from his sitting position, he can easily see Atsumu filling a glass of ice with water followed by retrieving pain pills from the shared medicine drawer near the fridge. It's the chalky pills Shouyou hates but he knows it's the only kind they have right now.

Both items are presented to him with the following words: "I love you, so please be careful." A confession, perhaps. Shouyou is unsure. Is it romantic or familial? Atsumu is looking at him calmly now, but his eyes are glassy as if he's fighting back tears.

"You love me?" 

"I love you."

They stare at each other for a moment, two, three, and then minutes pass. Shouyou's body aches. His head hurts and so does his throat despite the water and his hands still tremble. His heart...it still hurts, but not at much. Atsumu is exercising an amazing amount of patience. 

"You love me?" Shouyou repeats, asking for confirmation.

"I love you," Atsumu repeats, confirming.

He takes the empty glass from Shouyou's hand, places it on a coaster on the coffee table, and sits next to Shouyou on the couch. There, Shouyou watches as his smaller hands are encased by larger ones, warm and secure. He still has the shakes. He still feels exhausted. His body, he knows, will feel like this for a few days.

"We need to talk about this," Atsumu states matter-of-factly. "About what happened today at practice. And…"

Shouyou blinks slowly at him. "And?"

"And about us." He only has one of Shouyou's hands now. It's faced up, sweaty, but that doesn't stop Atsumu from trailing the tips of his fingers over it, tracing lines gently. "I'm not letting you go, so you need to be careful."

(Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.)

"I'm sorry," Shouyou whispers. "I'm-I'm so sorry." _I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you_ \- "I love you."

He hears Atsumu inhale sharply. “Thank you for returning my feelings...this doesn’t change the fact that I, along with everyone else, am still upset. You really scared us today, Shouyou. Bokuto cried and, frankly, I still feel close to tears.” 

Shouyou takes these words seriously. 

Atsumu often hides hurt and anger beneath sarcasm, but this is different. 

He’s being open.

_I love you_ , Shouyou thinks. 

“I will work on myself; for me and the team. For you, too.”

Atsumu smiles and entwines their hands, squeezing gently. “Mostly for you.”

“Okay, mostly for me.” Shouyou squeezes back. “I’ll overcome this.”

“Thank you, Shouyou.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](https://i-just-really-love-sakura.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Twitter](https://twitter.com/stan_haikyuu?s=09)


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